The last time I posted to this blog, I was out of sorts. Stressed, refusing to change my situation to relieve it and lonelier than I've been in a long, long time.
The time before that when I posted to this blog, I was out of sorts. Stressed, refusing to change my situation, and lonelier than I've ever been.
Now, I'm out of sorts. I'm stressed about school, work, my un-relationship, and rather lonely. I'm doing what I can for my situation but damn. Combine failing at work with the semester's-end crunch time and second guessing myself for every kiss, every touch, every "I love you" or "I miss you" and fuck me sideways, Batman. I want to tell Mr. Beautiful everything that I think of him without him getting freaked out about commitment and running away. I'm craving some human interaction. I want my group project to go away. I want my job to stop sucking. I want to go to bed and not get out of it for a few days.
Instead, I wear my brave face. I get up and walk into the classroom to get this project done. I look at Mr. Beautiful and tell him that I'm thinking happy mammal thoughts when he asks me. I push myself every way that I can think of at work.
Here's hoping that it works.
1 comment:
I can totally relate to this right now... Stressed and more lonely than I have ever been in my whole life. I am determined to change things though. Not quite sure how I am going to do that yet, but it's going to happen. I loves you, Heather. Call me so we can catch up. =)
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